The AJ Chronicles: 14 June 2024
Assembling the bookcase, a happy and sad occasion on the same day, my son’s work placement, sentimental clutter and bedroom conversion, my neighbour’s call for help, plus my recent Medium stories
![A collage of four images. Old cutlery, flowers in a field at a crematorium, four tea towels including one of Devon scenes, and flowers in a green glass vase. A collage of four images. Old cutlery, flowers in a field at a crematorium, four tea towels including one of Devon scenes, and flowers in a green glass vase.](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8f05a1c6-0072-463e-81d1-f51f7de0cc24_2500x2158.heic)
Sections
a. Recent Moments
b. Medium Stories
a. Recent Moments
Assembling the bookcase 📚
A happy and sad occasion on the same day 📅
My son’s work placement 🛠️
Sentimental clutter and bedroom conversion 📦🛏️
It took a while to hear my neighbour’s call for help 🛟
1. Assembling the bookcase 📚
Last week, I described the back-breaking job of transporting a flatpack bookcase to my fiancée’s house. This week, I had the job of assembling it.
I was relieved that Stephanie had already opened the box and got her son to carry the pieces upstairs, one by one.
When Stephanie and I worked together on assembling it, I soon found that Argos furniture is not the last word in quality. The main problem was that some pre-drilled holes were a couple of millimetres out.
When attaching the hardboard back, we both hammered in the panel pins. I had my late dad’s old hammer with me, and Stephanie preferred it to hers because it was slightly smaller. I felt emotional for a moment when watching her use something of my dad’s. (He died 23 years before we met.)
Once assembled, we placed it in the corner of the room. Stephanie wasn’t planning on securing it to the wall, but I felt it was safer to do so.
I’d not taken my drill, but I soon made two neat holes in the plasterboard wall using a screwdriver — like I’d done as a teenager. It worked perfectly well and the fixing was secure. (See The Life and Times of an Amber-Handled Screwdriver on Medium.)
2. A happy and sad occasion on the same day 📅
It’s been quite a week!
My late wife Jane passed away on Stephanie’s daughter’s birthday 11 years ago, and she turned 17 this week. As you can imagine, that day has been a strange and difficult mixture of celebration and sadness every year since I met Stephanie.
In the morning, I took my youngest son to the crematorium, and we put flowers on his mum’s plot. There was an odd moment when a stranger said, “The first time is hard, isn’t it?”
I didn’t understand, and replied, “It’s been 11 years.” Then I felt bad for making them feel awkward. Perhaps they thought we’d not been before because I was making a small hole in the ground for the flowers.
I usually avoid speaking to other mourners because moments spent at the crematorium are very personal; it’s almost an unwritten rule.
After placing the flowers, I took my slightly reluctant youngest son to his work placement. (More on that later.)
In the afternoon, I returned to the crematorium with my eldest son. There was an emotional moment when we stopped and looked at the flowers together. Then we explored other parts of the site before leaving.
Later, I drove across town with both my sons for Stephanie’s daughter’s birthday meal. It had been a long time since we dined with Stephanie’s children and parents. (I stayed home at Christmas due to Covid.)
The table was long and narrow, which made it hard for the people at each end to chat. Stephanie’s mum half acknowledged that I’d collected the bookcase she’d paid for. (It was a birthday present for her granddaughter.) I’m not sure if she grasped or appreciated my son had saved her 10% with his discount card, but at least the bookcase saga was over and done with.
My youngest son kept talking about different cars for sale. He also managed to get his brother interested because he might be buying one in the next year or two. (They don’t tend to get along, so it was quite unusual!)
One thing that shocked me was when Stephanie’s daughter opened an extra gift from her grandmother. It was a Stephenie Meyer book — and my late wife had owned several!
Seeing that on the 11th anniversary of her death was jarring, but nobody else seemed fazed by it.
The food was 40 minutes late arriving, but we all enjoyed it. Despite a few hiccups, it was a relatively pleasant evening overall.
3. My son’s work placement 🛠️
Last year, my son’s college arranged a five-day work placement at a local garage.
This year, they sent him on another one, but it wasn’t clear how long it was meant to last — nobody seemed to know!
On the first day, a mechanic showed off a rusty old modified car to my son — as though he needed any encouragement to make more questionable mods to his car. To me, it sounded like a death trap!
My son only went for that one day, but when he went to college two days later, they said he was meant to be on placement all week!
That happened to be the anniversary of his mum’s death, and he felt awkward about going in late after missing a day. After visiting the crematorium with me, he agreed to my dropping him off at the garage to continue his work placement.
4. Sentimental clutter and bedroom conversion 📦🛏️
My eldest son and I have continued clearing the dining room, which will become his bedroom within weeks.
It’s been hard to let go of my children’s schoolwork, but things are progressing.
Other items include my parents’ old cutlery, coat hangers, and tea towels.
Some cutlery was in poor condition, but I saved quite a lot and spent time cleaning it. The following day, I ate my breakfast cereal using a spoon I remember from childhood! It was nice to bring it back into use after 15 years in my garage!
I found some of my mum’s old tea towels and washed them. When she went on holiday, she often bought one that showed information and pictures from the area.
When I saw one of the tea towels was about Devon, I stopped and wondered. Perhaps it was one I bought for her, during my first holiday without my parents. In 1993, just after moving in with Jane, we went to Ilfracombe, Devon, and I remember talking to my wife about my mum’s tea towel tradition.
(I’ve since noticed it says 9216 in the corner. That could mean it was made in 1992 week 16, confirming my suspicions.)
In addition to dealing with sentimental and nostalgic items, I constructed a small table for the hall. It will be useful when my youngest son eats light meals. In the past, he would have used the dining room, and he won’t be able to do that once it becomes his brother’s bedroom.
5. It took a while to hear my neighbour’s call for help 🛟
I was wearing headphones while writing this, and that caused me to miss my neighbour’s cry for help.
He was on the ground in his side driveway! (He has mobility problems and had fallen over after walking their dog.)
I went round and helped him up, which was hard. Luckily his wife was able to help; I don’t think I could have done it without her.
I felt bad that I’d not heard him immediately, but then again, his wife was home and therefore much closer — and she’d not heard him either.
He said he’d been out there for half an hour, but I’m doubtful it was that long. He has dementia, so it’s possible his sense of time is not accurate.
He grumbled that I’d gone to their front door rather than through their side gates, which took another 30 seconds. But I’m glad I did — it meant his wife found out and could help.
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Alan
b. Medium Stories
The titles below are links to my recent Medium stories. I’ve included quotes to give you a taste.
This week, all my stories have been responses to writing prompts.
I had hoped to produce more, but I had fewer hours for writing because it’s been an unusual week.
I Never Thought I’d Follow in My Mum’s Footsteps, But Sometimes I Fall Asleep Where She Did
June Prompts, Day 7
…in recent years, there are days when I’m very tired in the daytime.
I can’t believe I sometimes do what my mum did and fall asleep in the living room!
It Might Not Be Much to Some People, but Every Summer, I Look Forward to Spending a Week at the…
June Prompts, Day 8
There’s something special about how the sound of seagulls takes me back to my childhood. I have fond memories of holidays with my parents and will always miss them.
The Childhood Me Loved Fun Modes of Transportation, but Now I Need Practicality and Low Cost
June Prompts, Day 9
It’s tempting to pick a fun mode of transportation, such as the cable car at Llandudno.
In the 1970s, I remember leaning out of the window and making it swing, which scared my parents.
I’m Not an Expert on Divorce, but I’m Lucky To Have Experienced Good Relationships
June Prompts, Day 10
I spent almost 21 years with my late wife Jane and was married for 19. Most of those years were good, but we had some difficult moments.
Maybe the OCD Traits I Experience When Letting Go of Possessions Relate to Grief and Loss
June Prompts, Day 11
Even though it’s unlikely I’ll ever look at the photos again, I feel compelled to take them. Otherwise, I can’t let the item go.
In some ways, taking photos is the worst thing I could do. It allows the future me to torture myself by being unable to forget items that are gone forever.
Let’s Put An End to Unfair Parking Rules and Disproportionate Fines
June Prompts, Day 12
On that particular occasion, I was alone because she wasn’t well — and I forgot to get a free ticket. Minutes later, a parking attendant pounced on my car.