The AJ Chronicles: 19 January 2024
A week in my life; plus my recent Medium and Substack stories
Contents
This week’s events
Medium stories
Substack story
This week’s events
My mother-in-law’s phone problem 📞
An update on my father-in-law 🏥
An update on my 100-year-old aunt’s leg 👩⚕️🦵
Mobile phone audio latency 🥱📱
People problems 🤔
The coffee shop ☕️
The self-checkout at Aldi 🛒
Rude staff at Morrisons petrol station 😮⛽️
A late-night drive along dark and icy country lanes 🌙
Dealing with iced-up cars ❄️
My youngest son applied for another job 💰
I’m terrible at allocating my time to tasks ⏱
1. My mother-in-law’s phone problem 📞
On Monday morning, I expected to have a clear day to focus on writing, but I woke up to see a missed phone call from my mother-in-law.
“Is my father-in-law okay?” was my first thought.
I listened to the voicemail and found the call was about a problem with their phone line. I rushed my breakfast and phoned back as soon as possible, but it was all sorted out by then.
My mother-in-law has a Care Call system so she can press a button for assistance if she falls. The box that connects it to the phone line had detected a fault, and a friendly automated voice had spent the whole night announcing the error!
She had phoned her carers and they told her to check the cables and contact Virgin Media who provide the phone line.
After a night trying to smother the box using a pillow, my mother-in-law phoned Virgin Media. Once she got through to the Indian call centre, she could not understand a word they said due to her hearing loss and their accent.
Just after she ended the call, the fault went away!
(Was it a coincidence?)
Even though I didn’t have to do anything, it threw me off track for a while thanks to ADHD.
2. An update on my father-in-law 🏥
In last week’s newsletter, I wrote about how my father-in-law had collapsed.
With everything that happened, I never expected him to pick my son up on Saturday, but I was wrong. He arrived at the usual time, as though it was a normal weekend!
Despite that, I couldn’t help but worry about whether he could drive safely. Then again, his driving is troubling at the best of times!
He said his doctor had put him on a higher dose of water tablets, and dehydration had led to his collapse a few days earlier.
At the start of the year, he talked about taking a trip abroad “for one last time”. I expected him to postpone the trip, but he still plans to go!
I reminded him to make sure he has insurance cover.
3. An update on my 100-year-old aunt’s leg 👩⚕️🦵
I phoned my aunt and was relieved that her leg is much less painful. She said it’s just a bit sore now.
The first nurse who visited her was very nice and had all kinds of ideas for things that would help, such as different dressings and something for her heels. However, nothing has yet materialised, and a different nurse has visited each subsequent time.
When my aunt asks them about it, they say they will look into it.
The nurses use disposable plastic items when attending to my aunt’s leg — things such as aprons and floor sheets. Unfortunately, after they’ve finished, they bundle up all the waste plastic such that it is full of air, and fill my aunt’s kitchen bin to the brim.
I suggested asking them to put it in the outside bin, but my aunt worries about wasting their time, so she stores it inside until a visitor comes. (She avoids going outside in this icy weather.)
4. Mobile phone audio latency 🥱📱
During the phone call with my aunt, after we’d been talking for 20 minutes, a long audio delay appeared — something like seven seconds!
It made further conversation impossible, so I ended the call and dialled again. It took many attempts to get through, and after a few more minutes, the delay reappeared.
I first had this problem about three years ago, and I’ve had it when phoning a few different people. The worst was when I phoned the doctor and they thought there was nobody there — after I’d waited 45 minutes to get through!
I don’t know if it’s my iPhone SE, or if it’s my network provider (Smarty), but it certainly makes me wary of getting rid of my landline!
5. People problems 🤔
Perhaps it’s the background stress of financial uncertainty — more on that later — but I seem to be giving off bad vibes this week. There have been three occasions when I’ve wondered what I’m doing wrong.
Some of my experiences could have been an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm! (I’ve watched a few episodes for the first time recently.)
The following three sections describe some of the ‘incidents’.
6. The coffee shop ☕️
Stephanie helped me find a suitable birthday present for my mother-in-law. She always chooses clothing, which is the last thing I would pick if I were shopping on my own!
It was a cold day and we stopped at a coffee shop for drinks. The staff know Stephanie and it became one of those occasions when I felt invisible.
I was first in the queue, but the owner ignored me and only greeted Stephanie who was next to me. A minute later, the owner took my order but did not seem friendly.
When it was time to pay for the two drinks, I got my phone out at the same time Stephanie got her debit card out. Then Stephanie told the owner she didn’t have a stamp card.
I ended up paying, but they handed Stephanie the newly stamped loyalty card without saying a word to me.
I didn’t expect red carpet treatment, but it would have been nice if they’d acknowledged my existence — especially at their prices!
7. The self-checkout at Aldi 🛒
At Aldi, the normal checkouts run fast because they have a separate packing area for use after paying. Perhaps the total time spent is similar once the two stages are added up.
They might be one of the last supermarkets in my area to introduce self-checkouts, and I tried one a while ago when they were first installed.
The scanners are fast and reliable, and more time is saved because they combine the scanning and bagging steps.
As I approached the checkout area, a member of staff said, “You can use either type of checkout.”
“I like these self-checkouts — I’ve used them many times,” I replied.
I got the feeling she wanted to steer me to a normal checkout because she said, “You can use the main checkout instead if you prefer.”
“Can I use this one?” I asked, pointing to a self-checkout.
“Yes,” she replied. Then she started trying to help me use it, so I said, “It’s okay, I’ve used these many times.”
She seemed a little offended, and it felt like she thought I was angry.
When I don’t make the effort to smile, my default expression can make me appear standoffish, especially if I have a lot on my mind.
I felt bad that she got the wrong idea, and I tried extra hard to be pleasant and polite.
Maybe next time I’ll use the normal checkout!
8. Rude staff at Morrisons petrol station 😮⛽️
Loyalty card history
The loyalty card at Morrisons supermarket is called a More card. At first, it seemed worth using because accumulated points could be turned into £5 vouchers.
They gave me a full-sized card and a small one, so I gave the small card to Stephanie because she rarely uses Morrisons and she said I might as well have the points.
After a while, they got rid of the £5 voucher scheme, so I destroyed my card because it wasn’t worth using.
Sometime later, they brought back the £5 vouchers and started offering discounts on some products for customers with a More card.
Stephanie gave me back the small card, and I started using it again. However, the tiny barcode sometimes did not scan, so I took a photo and enhanced it on my phone.
The barcode on my phone scanned easily at their supermarket self-checkouts.
Problems at the petrol station
My son can buy gift cards through work that give 5% off, and they work at Morrisons petrol station. Who wouldn’t want 5% off?
I normally pay at the pump, but it’s necessary to go to the kiosk when using a gift card.
Today, I went in with two pieces of paper: one with a picture of my More card, and one with a gift card for payment.
When I handed over my home-printed More card, the woman behind the counter became rude and aggressive! She said:
“It could be anything!”
“It might be someone else’s, and you’re not allowed to share cards!”
I said, “Why would I want someone else to get the points by using their card? It doesn’t make sense.”
Her colleague joined the conversation, and it felt like I was being verbally attacked by the two of them.
He said, “You might get someone else’s £5 voucher.”
I said, “I’ve been using it for months and I’ve still not had one.”
It got quite heated, and I put my hands in the air and tried to calm the situation down.
They insisted I open my phone and use their App to show the virtual More card.
I’d hoped to avoid using my phone because it often seems hard to unlock when under pressure with a long queue behind me in the petrol station.
I said, “I thought the printout would be quicker to use than the app. Can you see where I’m coming from?”
The man replied, “No, I can’t see where you’re coming from. The app is the easiest way.”
They were both very hostile and I felt angry and upset.
“I can’t believe all this fuss. I spend thousands of pounds a year at Morrisons,” I said.
Why didn’t they simply say it’s not store policy to accept anything other than the official More card? That would have been enough.
Instead, they behaved like I’d tried to commit the crime of the century and treated me like something they’d stepped in.
Once I got home, I sent in a complaint.
[Update: They replied and apologised and said they’d do some retraining.]
9. A late-night drive along dark and icy country lanes 🌙
Just like on 8 December 2023, when I picked up my son at 11 pm, a message popped up on my car dashboard saying:
Exhaust filter at limit
Drive to clean now
Having a petrol car with a filter that gets clogged after excessive idling is a nuisance when waiting for someone and running the engine to stay warm!
We just wanted to go home and get to sleep. Instead, we were driving along country lanes at 11:15 pm when it was -6°C (about 21 °F) outside.
10. Dealing with iced-up cars ❄️
Disclaimer: Do this at your own risk!
The following method seems gentle enough not to crack the windows with thermal shock, and I like it. But do not blame me if you try it and have problems!
My favourite way to melt ice on cars these days is something Stephanie told me about. You fill a plastic bag with hot water, then rub the windows with it.
It’s quick and effective, and it keeps your hands warm! Sometimes the bag gets punctured by things like windscreen wipers, so you have to be careful.
Even though my car has a heated front windscreen, on the coldest days, it’s still useful to speed things up.
My son’s car doors were frozen shut so I poured hot water around the seals, being careful to avoid any glass. After I’d finished, I put salt on the ground because the water started freezing.
11. My youngest son applied for another job 💰
My youngest son announced he’s applied for a job doing over 23 hours a week. If he gets it, he will no longer be classed as dependent, so I will lose Widowed Parent’s Allowance and Child Benefit.
When that happens, although I will not charge him rent, I will ask him to pay his share of the utility and grocery bills.
I’m not sure how he will fit those hours around his college course. If he later decides it’s all too much, there will be no going back because once I lose WPA, I can never apply for it ever again.
If only he could wait two months until he’s 18 because he will get a higher hourly rate. That way, he could earn enough while keeping his weekly hours below the threshold, so I would not lose WPA. (His 18-year-old brother is satisfied with his earnings from working 22.5 hours a week.)
Hopefully it’s not all part of a devious plan to make me sell him my old car sooner rather than later. He wants to own it one day, but it is about twice as powerful as his current/first car. I think he needs more experience first.
12. I’m terrible at allocating my time to tasks ⏱
Years ago, I could make plans and execute them efficiently. In recent years, I often wonder if I’m working on the right things, and it seems harder to allocate my time and stay motivated.
"If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster."
Stephen R. Covey
I’ve heard Merlin Mann say words to this effect on podcasts such as Reconcilable Differences (relay.fm/rd) and Back to Work (backtowork.limo).
I tend to get obsessed with certain tasks. For a while now, writing on Medium and Substack has consumed vast amounts of time.
It feels good to feel busy, but should I really be doing something else instead?
December’s Medium earnings were similar to the Widowed Parent’s Allowance I’m about to lose, so I would survive if I could sustain that level. Unfortunately, my numbers have been falling throughout January.
Therefore, if I’m going to cope without WPA, I will have to try other money-making ideas, and rely less on Medium.
My eldest son suggested allocating specific days to things like app development and images for T-shirts. I’ve neglected those for years.
It sounds like a simple and effective way to divide my time, but it will be hard to break the habit of spending hours on Medium every day!
Maybe I need to consider going back to a 9-5 job, but I don’t think I could face that right now. The stress and anxiety would be too much.
Medium Stories
(Click the titles below to read them on Medium.)
I only published two articles on Medium this week. One is a response to a writing prompt, and the other is about something that happened just before my wife’s funeral.
From Top Sheets to Caffeine Habits: Alan Answers Some Random and Revealing Questions
Lynn L. Alexander created a mishmash of questions, and I could not resist answering
Answering this question has brought back memories of the bathroom I used until 1979!
Well-Meaning but Thoughtless Remarks, Three Days Before My Wife’s Funeral
I was too numb to react, but maybe that was for the best
She tried to put a positive spin on living alone. She talked about the freedom it gives you, and joked that you get to choose what to watch on TV!
Substack Story
I’m still trying to provide value for paying Substack subscribers, even though I only have one right now. With that in mind, I wrote a long piece about my music-making experiences.
It ended up being so long that I split it into two and I’m saving the second part for another week.
Part two is supposed to include links to where you can find my music online. This amount of sharing feels like a big step and I’m still not 100% sure.
Part one’s subtitle is:
Early childhood experiences and how computers made my life easier
I would often come up with ideas for melodies and bass lines when I was in the shower, but by the time I was in front of the computer, I would have forgotten some of the details.
That’s all for this week.
As always, thank you for reading, and see you next time!
Alan 💛
Medium | Instagram | Threads | Bluesky | Facebook | Facebook Page | Mastodon | Ko-fi ☕️ | Patreon | Twitter | Linktree