The AJ Chronicles: 2 August 2024
Father-in-law problems, sister meet-up, road rage, not seeing my fiancée, invisibility trick, bowel cancer screening invitation; plus my recent Medium stories
Sections
i. Recent Moments
ii. Medium Stories
i. Recent Moments
My late wife’s father causes problems 😣
Meeting up with my sister ☕️
A road rage incident was hard to forget 😠
I didn’t hear Stephanie’s voice for 4 days 📱
I’ve figured out how to become invisible 🫥
The NHS invited me for bowel cancer screening 😟
1. My late wife’s father causes problems 😣
Saturday morning
Last Saturday, my late wife’s father came to pick up my eldest son for their usual few hours together.
He asked if I’d seen the car my youngest son was fixing up, which is when things became heated.
I pointed out how fast and powerful it was for a teenager with only 6 months of experience. In my eyes, he’s bought his grandson something that might kill him!
He said he was unaware of the car’s power and tried to deny any responsibility.
“I didn’t buy it for him, I just gave him the money,” he said.
“But you enabled him to buy it,” I replied.
(The car was bought the day after I returned from holiday, without my involvement.)
My youngest son and I started arguing. He thinks he’s a perfectly safe driver, despite the way he pushes his main (and much less powerful) car to the limit.
He said I was a hypocrite because I drive fast. He didn’t consider how I alter my driving to suit the situation, rather than going as fast as possible everywhere. Also, I’ve been driving for 38 years and his project car is faster than any I’ve owned.
Saturday afternoon
Later, when I went to my in-laws’ house to pick up my eldest son, my father-in-law was still irritable about being blamed for the car purchase.
He seemed determined to find some way to retaliate; it’s what he does. Despite being 80 years old, he is often immature.
He laughed because my eldest son gets a lift home from work from me. He does not drive and finishes at 11 pm, so I think it’s reasonable — especially when groups of drunks often leave nearby pubs and restaurants around that time.
My father-in-law continued smirking and laughing, implying his grandson is a wimp and I’m overprotective.
In his day, he worked as a doorman/bouncer, and I get the impression he’s had quite a few fights. But the fact remains that my 19-year-old son is not like that.
(For context, 14 years ago, he made his daughter cry during her cancer treatment by pointing out that she’d neglected her hair! That’s something I mentioned in Being Invited to a Christening Just After My Wife Died on Medium.)
I’m not sure what he’ll be like this weekend.
2. Meeting up with my sister ☕️
I met up with the younger of my two sisters for our monthly catch-up.
I talked about my recent holiday, and handed her my phone to browse the photos. Given that there were 850 of them, I don’t blame her for stopping before the end! 😂
She told me our 101-year-old housebound aunt had seen a senior nurse about her leg. My aunt had been encouraged to have tests done at the hospital, but she’s anxious about going and would rather avoid it if possible.
I think she’s worried about the risk of infection and feels she may never go home again.
(I mentioned in The AJ Chronicles: 12 January 2024 how they thought it might be an ulcer on her leg, but my aunt was concerned it might be skin cancer because she’d had it seventeen years ago.)
The nurse told our aunt that she does not have to have the tests.
Later, we talked about driving after I mentioned the problems with my father-in-law. (See previous section.)
My sister talked about tailgaters, and I shared a recent YouTube video I happened to watch about it.
Little did I know I’d be on the receiving end from an aggressive driver the following day! (See next section.)
3. A road rage incident was hard to forget 😠
When returning home from a local trip, I went down the avenue leading to my road as usual.
It’s normally a quiet area, but for once there was an exceptional number of obstructions and delays. First I had to wait while a truck reversed; then I had to allow multiple oncoming cars to pass parked vehicles.
The woman in the Tesla behind became impatient and abusive — as though the delays were my fault! Was I supposed to keep going when the road was not clear?!
She even pulled alongside me when I stopped outside my house, waving her arms and presumably shouting abusive comments.
Stephanie was with me, and we could not believe the Tesla driver’s behaviour!
After she moved off, against Stephanie’s advice, I followed her and found she lived just around the corner.
Later, I went for a bike ride. The main reason was to photograph her car and number plate.
I considered putting a copy of the highway code through her door, but maybe that would just lead to more problems. 😆
Hopefully, nothing else will happen and I won’t need that photo. But I feel better for having a record of who they were.
4. I didn’t hear Stephanie’s voice for 4 days 📱
Stephanie’s dad’s health problems have meant she’s taken her mum to visit him at the hospital many times recently. He’s been there for over a week.
While that was perfectly understandable, I didn’t like us going four days without seeing each other or speaking on the phone.
We kept in touch by text, but it’s not the same as hearing someone’s voice. It’s not the first time we’ve had communication problems.
She kept explaining that she does not like phone calls. That was hard to swallow because she’s on the phone with her mum multiple times daily, even when she’s seen her in person.
She reasoned that her parents are old, so she doesn’t know how much longer they will be around. (Given that we’re both widowed young, and I’m only 18-20 years younger than her parents, who knows how long I’ll be around!)
I felt like an afterthought because she could not spare 15 minutes to talk. On the fourth day, she finally found time to phone me. It was so good to hear her voice!
Stephanie’s brother said he could not help with the visits due to childcare commitments. (That’s despite him having an ex-wife, a current wife, and various other relatives to help.)
Then, he turned up at the hospital after Stephanie had taken her mum there!
5. I’ve figured out how to become invisible 🫥
Just go to a supermarket zebra crossing!
You stand there, waiting to cross, and cars keep driving past. Many don’t stop even if you’re on the crossing!
Last week, I mentioned to Stephanie how I’d considered getting my phone out and pretending to video an arrogant-looking driver who ran the crossing at Sainsbury’s.
She said the driver would probably get out and beat me up. (I guess she doesn’t rate my chances of defending myself; she’s probably right though! )
A few days later, a similar thing happened again while I was walking across the road, so I knocked on the back window as the car brushed past me.
The driver and passenger looked startled. They seemed to have no idea where the sound came from.
I’m definitely invisible at crossings!
6. The NHS invited me for bowel cancer screening 😟
Receiving that letter was enough to scare the $h1t out of me!
It says they offer screening to people aged 60 - 74 every two years, and they’ve started extending it to people aged 50, 52, 54, 56, and 58.
The screening kit arrives in two weeks, and I know it’s wise to do it because early diagnosis is crucial. But I’m already imagining how anxious I’ll feel waiting for and reading the results.
Anxiety has always affected my digestive system, so it’s rare for me to feel great in that respect. Perhaps that’s why I can imagine them finding something wrong.
At least it has stopped me from thinking about that rude Tesla driver!
Thanks for reading
Alan
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ii. Medium Stories
🔗 The titles below are links to my recent Medium stories.
I Made the Difficult Decision to Turn Down a Well-Paid Job
July Prompts, Day 27
On a couple of occasions, I was offered high-paid jobs. However, I did not have the confidence to accept them. Declining them was not easy, but I imagined there would be too much stress.
My Thoughts About Death: How and Where Do You Want To Die?
July Prompts, Day 28
My oldest relatives have something in common: they have all mentioned the sadness of being the last one left. All the people they grew up with are no longer around to reminisce.
Family Holiday to Wales, Including Cardigan Island Coastal Farm Park
Holiday photos part 1 of 4
I sifted through 850 recent holiday photos and selected some to share. This is the first of four photo stories over the next few weeks.
Remembering the Atari 400 and 800
Looking back at Atari’s 8-bit computers from 1979, with plug-and-play peripherals, and graphics chips designed by Jay Miner, who went on to become the father of the Amiga
Around 2017-2020, I wrote and shared stories about 17 memorable computers from the 1970s and 1980s. In some cases, I wrote more than one story about each machine.
Over the last few years, I’ve been republishing them on Medium. After this one, there are only two more left.
This particular story took a lot of editing before I felt comfortable releasing it. Most of my Medium readers won’t be interested because there are few personal anecdotes in these later stories; the earlier ones were better. However, I feel compelled to complete my series over the next few months.
I really enjoyed this post Alan, and (being of a similar age) there was a lot I could relate to.
Bowel cancer screening - let me urge you to do this ASAP. I have had bowel cancer (before I even got to 50 - unusually young they told me) and I had passed up the chance for 2 basic tests the year before. oh with hindsight ...
BUT still my cancer was caught early on & was relatively simple to remove so I say to everyone, do it and do it soon.
I got the standard kit a few weeks ago when I turned 60, and I expect you can imagine my nerves as I did it and posted it to await results ... but they came back quickly (less than 2 weeks) and I'm ok (phew).
Like you, I'm the kind of person where my nerves/anxiety have always presented as upsets in the tummy/digestive system, but I told myself "the quicker they know if something is wrong, the quicker they can do something about it". I hope that helps you.
Do they not have traffic lights at the crossing? That might help....